The COG Blog

This article is not about how to trap a man and get him to be yours forever and ever but the ways women often trap men into falling flat on their faces. Quite often women set men up for failure, and then get upset when they (the women) feel hurt, slighted, or unloved. Every woman has the right to feel unloved if the person she is involved with is not showing loving behavior towards her. The problem is, some women attach feeling “unloved” to every little thing.

Now if your boyfriend or husband knows it is your birthday and doesn’t wish you a happy birthday, get you anything, or acknowledge it in any way shape or form, sure, you can feel upset and hurt and rightfully so. BUT, if you told your man not to do anything for your birthday and did not WANT it acknowledged in any way shape or form WHY are you now upset because he didn’t?  Sorry, that one is on you. You set him up to hurt you.

Why play games like that where everyone loses? If the man in your life responds to your telephone messages and emails right away, but hates texting and does not respond to texts, WHY ARE YOU INSISTING ON TEXTING HIM? So you can get mad at him? Why force the text issue where there are other ways of communicating? And if that isn’t bad enough, some women have men that are basically good, show loving behavior towards them, treat them well, but the ONE time he doesn’t do what she wants he MUST not love her. Really? Grow up.

People will not always do everything perfect, and you won’t either. Sometimes you have to look at the big picture, not every little thing all by itself. So he screwed up one time. Let it slide unless of course it is a BIG screw-up. If you were the perfect employee and had ONE bad day, would you want your future with the company, your reputation, your bonus, and your pay to be judged on that ONE day? Hell no. You would insist that all your hard work over the years count for something. Well, it is the same in relationships too.

If you ask him stupid questions like “What don’t you like about me?” then you are obviously looking for a fight if you can’t hear the answer and suck it up like an adult. Don’t ask for the truth unless you are ready to hear it and behave like an adult.

If every person could read everyone else’s mind there would BE no relationships. Think about some of the thoughts and feelings that go through your head on a daily basis. What if the people in your life heard them all? Would they hate you right now? Would they even be speaking to you right now? Would you even have a job if your boss heard every thought in your head? Probably NOT.

So, why snoop and read emails he sends to other people? What are you really looking for? If your relationship sucks that bad that you need to find out if he is cheating, checking into things is not so bad. But do you have to read the email he sends his mother or best friend?

The bottom line is that relationships are hard enough, and if you have a good one, be glad you do, and don’t look for ways to cause trouble or ways to sabotage it.

There are always red flags that we “should have seen”, the problem is, we most often see them way too late. Many people have lost money, possessions, and their hearts to someone they should have seen as suspicious from day one. Of course there are the more obvious red flags which we will discuss first, and then move on to the more elaborate schemes.

1. Finances : Are they asking you too many questions about YOUR financial status?
Your finances on a “need to know basis” – they don’t need to know until you have met numerous times in person, and a solid relationship has evolved. If they brag to you about being wealthy, this is a huge red flag. Wealthy people are very very tight-lipped about their finances! If they are telling you a tale of how they “were on top of the world but then ____ ruined everything” (blaming someone else) this is another red flag to watch out for. Usually they will then talk about how they are on their way back up, and any minute, month or day now they will have it all back again – this is most likely a set-up. They will need YOUR help to get there. (financially of course) They will ask you to loan them money, go into business with them, or pick up the tab on some things til they get the money.

2. Save all emails or chat logs, and pay very close attention to DETAILS. Many times just by listening, you will pick up on discrepancies of things they have told you. Instant red flag! Listen to the way they answer your questions : are they evasive or give general answers with little or no detail? Do they try and change the subject?

3. If they say they love you or feel “connected to you” right away this is also a red flag. Love takes a long time to develop, and although our egos love hearing words like that, they are not true. Love takes time, and if their love is not taking time, you should wonder what the big rush is! Just as quickly as it starts, it will end abruptly.

4. If they want to engage in intimate sex talk right away, another red flag. If they are starting with sexual talk then that is the reason why they are contacting you to begin with, for cyber sex, not a relationship.

5. If they are taking too long to meet you in person, they are most often with someone else, or not interested in a real relationship off the computer or phone. Don’t let yourself get emotionally invested in letters, chats and phone calls. If within the first few times you are on the phone and they want to have phone sex, hang up on them immediately. Get to know the person, the whole person, because you will become infatuated with the crumbs you are getting, not the whole picture.

6. If they are not willing to trade photos, or only send one ask yourself why? Photos are not costly, you can get anyone to scan them for you if you don’t have a scanner, and there is no reason they cannot send you recent photos unless they look nothing like they have described or are using a phony photo.

7. If they want you to get a web cam, 99% of the time it is so they can see you without your clothes. This is not someone you should take seriously.

8. Phone numbers. If you only get a cell phone because they claim to have no home phone, this can also be a red flag. Even though many people have cell phones, very few do NOT have a home phone. If they only call you at certain times, on certain days, or disappear for days, they are most likely living with someone or married. If you try and call during times that you don’t normally speak and you only get their voice mail or are rushed off the phone, another red flag.

9. Do they claim to travel for work and use that excuse as to why you cannot be in contact very often? This is another red flag. they are not traveling for work, they are with someone else. Yes, I know people often travel for work, and a good way to verify they are is to ask them where they are staying, in what city, town, etc. Call the hotel and find out if they are registered. Ask them to pick you up a postcard from the place they are traveling to or ask them to take pictures to show you. If they do nothing of the sort over and over again, most likely they are not traveling, but with someone else

10. Anyone contacting you from overseas should be avoided. Please see our “Nigerian dating scams” page for more information.

Are you wondering about your internet date? Do things seem a little shakey? Are you wondering if they are dating others? Do you want to know if he or she is a player? Does it seem they are just stringing you along with emails and phone calls but not meeting in person? Are they married? How can you possibly know since you only have a voice on the phone or email address! Call one of the psychics at Circle of Goddesses today. Both Sophia and Lady Sarah are experts in relationships and internet dating and are able to bust through any internet dating scam that someone may be throwing at you. Internet dating can be a scary thing and it is better to be forewarned and KNOW what and who you are really dealing with!

Allow me to assist you in breaking through the barriers that hold you back from achieving your full potential in life, love, romance, career and business to put you on the right path to success and personal freedom.

I will guide you along your path and provide guidance to help you attain the desires of your heart in matters of love, life and career. I will assist you in finding balance in your spiritual, personal and professional life as well as attain peace of mind and the right path for your future.

So many women say they want closure yet have a hard time finding it. They wonder why they can’t free themselves from thoughts and emotions regarding their exes. They say they don’t want to think about their ex-boyfriend or ex-husband but their minds always seem to drift in that direction. They can’t sleep at night because their exes are on their minds and when they wake up in the morning they remember the dream they had about him while they were sleeping.

Why is closure so elusive for so many women? Could women actually be sabotaging themselves from getting the closure they profess to want so desperately? Or maybe they don’t really want closure but use their need to have it as a way to keep them locked in their obsessive, unproductive thoughts of getting back together with their ex.

Here are some ways that women keep themselves in limbo rather than get closure:

Needing to know: What is he doing right now? Is he hurting? Does he miss me? Does he regret losing me? Does he plan on reuniting with me? Is he happy that it is over? Is he ready to date someone else? Is he ready to sleep with someone else? Has he slept or dated someone else? Does he care about her? Was the sex good? How can he act like nothing is wrong when I am devastated ? Will he ever find someone he loves more than me? Did he actually love me?

What difference does the answer to any of the questions make in your life? These questions are all about HIM, not YOU. No wonder you can’t move on and move forward!!! The answers will not give you closure, because you will only have MORE questions!

Women have wonderful imaginations and are curious by nature. So if we can’t talk to our ex or find out what is going on, we can simply fantasize about it! You can imagine telling him all the horrible things he has done and why he doesn’t deserve to be back with you, you can imagine tears running down his face when he says how sorry he is, you can go over conversations over and over and over again so you know just what to say should you ever see/talk to him. You can picture him miserable, broken down and suffering. The problem is you are living in your imagination too much rather than accepting your reality and dealing with it.

Taking walks down memory lane: While men try to avoid anything that could remind them of their ex, women tend to do the opposite. Women will re-read emails and letters to the point that they have them memorized. That takes them on a literary journey through the relationship they just got out of and re-opens the wounds so they cannot heal. In most cases at times of breakups, women tend to focus on the “shiny happy times” before your ex showed his true colors. We think of all the things we will miss, how the relationship could have worked “If only he ____”, and the pure shame of it all. What women DON’T tend to focus on is the bad side of their ex and all the reasons why it didn’t work out. What they need to realize though is that the signs were probably there from the beginning. Instead of thinking of all the wonderfulness of your ex, think about how much he made you cry, how often you were disappointed, dissatisfied, insecure, angry, hurt, etc.

But don’t dwell on that either because you still won’t get closure. Give yourself ample time to grieve the death of the relationship and then switch your gears to enjoying your LIFE again. You did before he showed up and you can do it now that he is gone.

For more articles on CLOSURE and how to get it in relationships, visit www.iwantclosure.com

With astrology we can analyze the birth chart and determine certain personality traits and characteristics of any individual, as well as the life path they will take. Certain transits in the birth chart, and at times, transiting planets, will determine the answer to the question, “Will He/She Cheat.”

While transits may determine the probability of a cheater, it is important to remember that while a person may have the transits to be a cheater, all individuals have control over their own brain and actions. Sometimes, these tendencies are curbed by conditioning, religious beliefs and maturity.

Having the transits of a cheater doesn’t mean you have to fulfill that role. But, in all probability, in this day and age, chances are strong that if an individual was born with ‘cheating’ transits they will cheat. Sometimes, events (transits) occur that cause a cheater to change their ways, and sometimes these events never occur and the person never changes. That is usually the case. Sometimes, an individual who is not ‘born to cheat,’ gets caught up in situations and makes a decision to stray from an established relationship. This is astrologically speaking, a horse of another color than a ‘born cheater.’

To know if your significant other/interest is a ‘born cheater,’ the transits in the birth chart must be carefully analyzed. There is no single transit for a cheater, there are probably millions. There are no simple generalizations. Often, cheaters are born with planets that represent divorce. This is usually represented by some type of hard aspect between Uranus, and Venus, or Mars and Venus. But, every divorced person is not a cheater. And, at times they are the victims of cheaters.

Cheating birth charts almost always contain a hard Neptune aspect. Neptune is the planet of illusion, delusion and confusion, and well as secrets and lies. A person with prominent Neptune aspects in their chart can soar to the highest of highs, touching the divine or they can sink to the lowest depths of human depravity. Sometimes, in a life time they do both.

Neptune represents both the preacher, the spiritual guru, and the drug addict and the prostitute. It’s a complex planet. But, it’s often there when cheating is involved. Neptune can create a cheater sometimes when it’s touching Venus, Mars or Mercury, especially from the seventh house of marriage. But, this is a generalization again, and this transit alone does not guarantee a cheater, and Neptune in the seventh house can also represent a person who is going to be cheated on. Another possibility of a cheater is someone who has a lot of Gemini or Sagittarius in their chart and likes to keep things interesting.

These individuals are often not satisfied with just one partner and like to experiment and have a distaste for that which becomes mundane. But again, having multiple planets in these signs alone does not guarantee multiple partners. Mars or Pluto in the eighth house is another sign of a person who loves sex.

These people are usually more interested in the erotic side of life than most. This depends upon many factors including what aspects Mars or Pluto in the eighth house is making. Society began to change in the late fifties/early sixties, and a generation was born with Neptune is Scorpio (1957-1970). These individuals in particular, are sometimes unclear about sexual boundaries.

Again, this is a generalization, and if you were born during these years it is absolutely no guarantee you will cheat! But, Scorpio is the natural ruler of the eighth house of shared/joint finances, change and transformation and sex. Sex often has a great fascination for these individuals and some will experience vague and uncertain states connected to emotional and sexual involvement with others. Sometimes it exerts a magnetic influence, although the real thing often does not meet expectations.

So, while there are a million fourteen transits that will help identify a cheater, the entire chart must come under scrutiny before making that accessment. And it all really comes down to what we want as individuals and what price they we willing to pay for it.

used with permission from Leslie Hale, Astrolger

This is an easy and fun to do love spell to find out if your significant other is trustworthy. It can really be done on any night of the week, although love spells are preferably done on Saturday night. Also the phase of  the moon does not need so much to be taken into consideration, although a waxing moon is really better to BRING love and romance into your life and a waning moon when you are trying to REMOVE something from your life.

Take two nuts, such as pecans or walnus and write your name on one and the name of your true love on the other. Place them in a grate on the fire. Now you must watch… and wait…  If the nuts burn slow and steady it indicates they will be faithful. If the nut pops from the fire and heat, it indicates that they are not to be trusted.