The Circle of Goddesses

All relationships are different.  They are as unique as the two individuals that define them.  Some couples are married, some have an open relationship, some are simply sexual partners with no strings attached, yet each is considered a relationship. Too many people overuse the term relationship to describe the status between themselves and the person they love. Time and again, frustrated clients ask:

• When are we going to be in a committed relationship?
• When will we take our relationship to the next level?

Our questions back to you are:

• If you wanted to be in a committed relationship, why aren’t you?
• Is your partner against committed relationships or not ready for one?
  
• Have you even discussed commitment with them?
• Are you waiting for the “commitment fairy” to fly down and grant you your wish?

The answers to these questions, and more, should be discussed while you are dating. Often we find the term “relationship” is used too loosely and quickly when people first start going out. When you first meet someone and start going out socially with them, you are dating. Period. The dating phase is there for a reason: to discover BEFORE you invest yourself emotionally and psychologically whether or not they are looking for the same things you are. Oscar Hammerstein nailed it in lyrics for his musical “The King and I”: “Getting to know you, getting to know all about you….”  It is during this important dating phase that you are getting to know someone to determine if they will be a good relationship choice for YOU.

Dating is the process of discovering if the person you are “dating” is relationship material. Use this time wisely, and honestly (in other words, don’t kid yourself) to see if this person really is a good prospect for what you are looking for relationship-wise. Now is the time to talk, listen, observe, learn and watch. Listen to what your partner says. Does it match their actions? Listen to what they say then let time and facts prove what they are saying to be truth. Make someone EARN your TRUST. Trust is not something to be given away freely, it should be earned, and if your partner is serious about growing the relationship with you, they will jump hurdles to ensure you trust them.

Be honest and open; let your partner know what you want out of life, relationships, love and sex. This is the time to express your needs and expectations as well as what factors would cause you to end the relationship. These important issues should be discussed during the dating phase, even more than you discuss favorite music, movies and restaurants. Obviously the first words on a first date should not be “Are you ready to get married?” but it should be more than acceptable to ask them what they are looking for.

Of course people can lie to you and they will, or they can “think” they are ready for a relationship when they are not. You will be much better off in the long haul if you find out what you need to know in the beginning. Ask the right questions in the early stages, such as:

• Are you looking for a relationship?
• What does being in a relationship mean to you?
  
• What do you expect out of a relationship, and what can someone expect out of YOU?
• When would you consider monogamy appropriate?
  
• How long would you need to be with someone before you would consider yourself in a relationship?
  
• How long would you need to date someone before you would consider being monogamous?
  
• What about your past relationships do you miss?
  
• What have you learned from your past relationships?
  
• What about your past relationships do you never want to go through again?

Obviously you won’t want to drill someone with all these questions in the first hour of meeting them, and probably not all on the first date, but these questions are more important than knowing where the person went to high school, their favorite song or color, or what kind of car they drive. These are the “road signs” of what to reasonably expect from them if you decide to take the relationship “journey” with them. Keep in mind while this person is sharing their thoughts on the subject, it is your opportunity to speak up to let THEM know what your feelings are so they know what to expect from YOU.

Often during the dating phase, things start to deteriorate. One or both parties will say “It was so good in the beginning; we must be going through a rough patch”.  Why does the rough patch sometimes seem to last longer than the good times? The answer is simply… because the first few months are always the best. Everyone is on their best behavior. As people become comfortable with each other, they let their guard down, and start acting more naturally. So the experience is what it is like to DATE that person for a few months, NOT what it WOULD be like to be in a relationship with them. Big difference.

Many people don’t know when it is time to bail and continue to hold on to the good times waiting for them to return. They don’t. They won’t. Accept it and move on. No one can maintain their “best behavior” for longer than several months. It is difficult and exhausting to maintain the façade. The masks crumble and the true personalities and behaviors are exposed… now THIS is the REAL person. This is who you will have the relationship with. It will never be the same as it was in the beginning. It is just not possible. Cut your losses and move on.

To really KNOW someone you should date regularly for about NINE MONTHS – yes NINE. It does not matter how much you talk on the phone until all hours of the morning, how great the sex is, how wonderful he makes you feel, how intense the connection is or whether both of your grandmothers have the exact same name and birthday… it still takes nine months. After all, that is how long it takes to make a baby, so why should a relationship with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with take any less? It shouldn’t.

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Many people operate under the wrong assumption that because they have sex with someone it automatically advances them to relationship status. WRONG! It takes time and patience which unfortunately the majority of people are not willing to invest. In today’s world of instant gratification, largely a byproduct of the internet, many people are looking for “instant relationships”. Remember, there are NO INSTANT RELATIONSHIPS and if you find yourself following this wrong way of thinking, we guarantee it will ultimately bring frustration and heartache.

So many people have sex with someone in the early stages of the dating game and invariably find themselves wondering:

• Is s/he sleeping with anyone else?
  
• Are we exclusive?

The real question, however, is why are you asking yourself this question? You should have asked the person you slept with, during the DATING process…and definitely before sleeping with them.

When a couple has dated long enough – yep, that is NINE MONTHS folks – and decided to be exclusive, they are officially IN a relationship. But where is the relationship going? Will it stay exactly as it is…just an exclusive relationship? Will you co-habitate? Will there be an engagement followed by marriage?

Many people want the relationship to go in one direction but their partner is fine where it is. Now we have two people wanting two different things, each trying to convince the other their way is best. Well, ONE of you is going to LOSE. Now is the time to find out if the relationship is going somewhere, or nowhere. You need to determine if it is going where YOU want it to go and you need to find out NOW rather than waste any more of your precious time. If you want to stay with someone knowing they will never live with you, marry you, have children with you or be committed only to you – that is fine. It is YOUR choice. It is time you made that choice based on REALITY rather than making choices based on your FANTASIES of what could be.

Let us help guide you through the relationship phase so it ends up in the place you want it to be. Let us help you get out of a relationship that is never going to go your way. Isn’t it time you faced the truth?

Psychic Lady Sarah and psychic Sophia Elise offer private psychic readings via click4advisor. Simply sign up with click4advisor and get your psychic reading today! All psychic readings are private and the psychic reader is never given your personal information. Our qualified professional psychic readers are available 24/7, ready to give you the best psychic reading possible. At this time are psychic readers are available only by phone. Our psychic readers are not offering email psychic readings at this time. Both of our psychic readers are gifted tarot readers and clairvoyant psychic readers. Lady Sarah and Sophia Elise are known relationship experts, and your psychic reading can help in all affairs of the heart. One phone call with our psychic readers can help you in areas of love, career, relationships, finance, etc. Soon our psychics will be giving free minutes after your first call, so check back with our psychics to find out when you can get some free minutes towards your next psychic reading. Give one of our professional accurate psychic readers a telephone call, you will be glad you did. If you prefer, you can arrange a call with our psychic readers to get your psychic reading or request an appointment with our psychic readers. Lady Sarah and Sophia Elise are here for you, and want to help. Pick up the phone and give them a call.