The COG Blog

Communication is one of the cornerstones of any good relationship, but it does take some skill to communicate effectively. Unfortunately, communication has, to some degree, become manipulation because many people won’t say what they need to say, or want to say for that matter, but instead humhah around, playing word games hoping their significant other will somehow figure out what they hell they trying to say.

When you are beginning a relationship with someone, is the time to listen to your “inner voice”. Use your “speaking voice” to properly verbalize your needs and agendas so that you are truly being “heard”. How many times have you complained that someone is “Just not listening to you” or that “I told (insert his/her name here) so many times the same thing and they refuse to listen”. Well, HOW did you tell someone what was on your mind? Did you beat around the bush? Did you expect them to “guess” what was on your mind ? Because if they really loved/knew you they would know? NOT. People are not mind readers, and if you want to be heard, then SPEAK.

In the beginning of a relationship so many people are afraid to even make suggestions of where to go to DINNER much less speak their minds on important issues. Why? How is someone supposed to get to know you if you are hiding what is going on in your mind? If someone tells you they do not want a serious relationship yet you do, and you are secretly hoping one day they will, can you honestly say you listened them? Communication is NOT just about talking, it is also about LISTENING. If someone told you that if you walk out of your house in the morning and your house will blow up, and you leave your house in the morning and it doesn’t blow up, will you believe them again? No. Then why if you tell someone over and over again that if they don’t make a commitment to you that you are leaving them yet you never leave you expect them to believe you?

Quite frankly, you lied. Why should they believe you? And why, would you believe someone that tells you over and over again that they will make changes and they don’t and yet  you keep believing them? They lied. Repeatedly. When are you going to stop believing them? Will it  take 100 lies? a thousand? They are using words to manipulate you to stay.

Communicating HONESTLY is one of the keys to a successful relationship. Everyone needs to stop lying themselves. If there are lies in the relationship they need to be addressed. When you have an issue you wish to discuss and the other person keeps deflecting that issue, in an effort to steer the conversation away from YOUR issue – STOP TALKING, stop listening, and end the conversation. Tell that person that until they are ready to hear you, and keep their mouth shut until you are done talking that you have nothing to say. When you are discussing your issue and they say “But you make me do that” realize that they are using manipulative conversation skills to turn the tables on you. Don’t fall for it. I mean really, if YOU had the power to make this person do all the things they do that you don’t like, then WHY would you use that power? You wouldn’t, obviously! Instead you would use the power to make them do the things you WANT them to that would make you happy! Our psychic advisors will help you to be able to READ your partners words, help you communicate productively, and steer yourself out of conversations that are getting off track.